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The Apse Asinine

You have entered the Sanctum Sanctorum and Pons Asinorum of the Last Church of Finagle.

It was here that, according to Oral Wishstory, the Prophet Edsall Murphy did receive the True Law of Ghod : Whatever Can Go Wrong, Will. All of human and inhuman wisdom is buried within this statement, like a man up to his neck in sand waiting for the tide to wash in. Upon this sand we have built our Church.

It was here, too, that I, Schol-R-LEA, did accept the leadership of the Last Church Coalition, five years hence. At the time I was the youngest and lowest ranking High Speaker ever to be elected to the First Speakership by the Council of the Small and Silly. The fact that all of the other High Speakers had been liquidated by the Con shortly before does nothing to diminished this achievement, nor does the fact that their successors were still hung over from the funeral have any bearing. So there.

Feel free to look around. Don't touch anything, however. After all, accidents do happen...

Among the items on display here are a few pages from the Purple Cathodic Libel , the Wholly Bunk of Eristic Finaglism upon which the Church Fogma is vaguely based. Only a handful of pages have been reconstituted, yet they are remarkable in their total lack of relevance. We stand in awe at their impenetrability.

For those more interested in historical accuracy, well, tough titties. Everyone else can read the Comical of Daze, detailing the half-truths and total fabrications of the recent coaltion leader and his cronies. You can be sure it makes interesting reading.

Speaking of Schol-R's cronies, one can also read about the other sects of the LCF, most notably the Church of Murphy, Optimist, run by Rev. Ian Craig. Not that it should matter to one who is devoted to the One False Religion, mind you, its just that it's a good idea to keep an eye on him at all times.