Father's Day, Part 5 J Osako 1 Dec 1998
Last Revised 9 May 1999
Daria is owned by MTV Networks. Used without permission. Daria created by Glenn Eicher.

[Act 5, Scene 1 : A small art gallery, with several well-dressed and well-heeled art patrons milling about. There are several photographs on display, most showing grisly images from various third-world conflicts of the past twenty-five years. Above the entrance is a banner proclaiming "Jock LaSalle: The Dogs of War series". Daria and Amy are standing just in front of it. Daria is carrying a professional-looking camera.]

Daria Who painted the sign? The spelled 'Jacques' wrong.

Amy He prefers it that way. He thinks that using a French name makes him sound pretentious, even though it really is his name.

Daria Yeah, but...isn't going out of your way not to sound pretentious pretty pretentious itself?

Amy You try telling him that.

[they approach JACQUES, a man in his late forties or possibly early fifties. He has brownish salt-and-pepper hair tied in a ponytail, with a hairline that recedes considerably; his features are thin and drawn, and his mustache is very bushy. He is wearing beat up jungle-camoflage pants, an even older bomber jacket, and has a camera around his neck. He looks distinctly uncomfortable with the tux-and-gown crowd that is milling around the gallery.

Jock [with a thick Texas drawl] Damn it, Amy, where have you been all night? I've had to deal with these goddamn vultures since five!

Amy Good to see you too, Jock. Where's Carla? She was supposed to be taking care of that kind of thing for you.

Jock A buncha these jackasses wanted to buy a few of the prints. She's off handling the deal somewhere. [looking at Daria] Who's this? I didn't know you had any kids.

Amy Actually, she's my niece, Daria. She's looking to go into photography, and she's a huge fan of your work.

Daria [deadpan] Yeah. That layout you did of the massacre in Rwanda really spoke to me.

Jock Oh, I'll just bet. You think its funny walking around a mass grave full of women and children?

Daria Only if they were people I knew.

Jock Oh, I like you. You're gonna go far in this business, I can tell.

Amy [handing Jock a 8.5x 11 copy of one of his prints] Listen, Jock, would you mind giving Daria here an autograph? [nudging Daria] I'm sure she'd love it.

Daria Yeah. It would be the highlight of the night.

Jock [sighs] Alright, alright. [sits down with the print, pulls out a pen] Howdya want me to make it out?

Daria How about "To my darling daughter, Daria Morgendorffer".

Jock [pen sliding hard across the page] What the Hell!

Amy Oh, did I forget to mention that Daria is Helen's daughter?

Jock I don't believe this! Is this some kinda setup? Where is that goddamn shyester, if she thinks she gonna hit me with...

Amy Calm down, Jock. Helen doesn't even know where we are. I just wanted Daria to get a chance to meet you.

Jock God damn. You had this planned the whole time, didn't you? I can't ... Oh, crap.

Daria Well, its nice to meet you, too.

Jock [glares at Daria for a moment, then sighs] This too damn much. I swear t'God I never even knew.

Amy Perhaps, I ought to leave you two alone for a while, huh? [walks OS]

Jock Hey! Come back here, damnit! [Sighs. Long pause.] Listen, missy, you go and catch up with. Get going, y'hear?

Daria Excuse me? Don't you have anything to say to me at all?

Jock There ain't nothun' to say. After sixteen years, I and got no part in it.

Daria How can you say that? You're my father, my real father. That must mean something.

Jock It don't. Now get out or I'll have security kick you out! [points towards door]

[Daria leaves, indignant look on face]

[Scene 2, outside of gallery]

Amy Done so soon? That doesn't sound like you.

Daria [angry] I never should have let you talk me into this! [storms off]

Amy Huh? [walks inside]

Jock [to crowd] All right folks, shows over. Let's pack it up and all go home, y'here? [murmurs around room]

Amy What the hell do you think you're doing?

Jock Oh, cut the bullshit, Amy. This whole thing was t'set me up. Well, it ain't workin', and I'm pulling the plug right now.

Amy You can't do this. It took weeks to get this showing set up. And for your information, I didn't do all of this just for Daria.

Jock I said, cut the bull! I can see what's right in front of me, for Christ's sake! I'm not the idiot you think I am, just 'cause I'm a tired lookin' Texas shitkicker an' you're some hot shit magazine editor! I've been more places and seen more things than you'll ever want to, but you folks still treat me like I'm a fuckin' hick! I'm tired of gettin' used and patronized, I really am!

Amy OK, so I did do it for Daria, at least in part. I thought you'd understand. Don't you have even the least bit of interest?

Jock Why the hell should I? It was sixteen long years ago, and I don't even remember most of it. What the hell were you thinking? That I'd be something in her life now? That it would change things for her? Damn it, I'm not changing my life to make her's better. I doubt I could do that anyway. If I know Helen, she's livin' the easy life with her fourth husband an' cheatin' with her clients on the side.

Amy So that it, huh? Not even the fact that she's your daughter means anything to you?

Jock [packing up belongings] Christ fucking almighty, if she's the only goddamn kid I've got around that I don't know about then something's wrong with me. I really couldn't give a fuck, all right? Now get the hell outta my way. [pushes past and goes OS]

Amy [mournful look on face] Good one, Barksdale. I'll be lucky if Daria ever forgives me for this.

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